Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Story for Kevin

Today I had coverage for a gym class.

Coverage, in school terms, is filling in for another teacher while they're gone. Most people would call that "subbing", but I think that has a negative connotation amongst teachers, so they call it "covering" (substitutes are below us snobby teachers). You get the idea.

So I filled in for the gym teacher, who left plans to play soccer with the kids. Naturally, I was disappointed.

Out in the fields, the sixth graders did their usual fighting and bickering as they competed (hey, that's the age their at). After ten minutes of playing, however, everything turned against me. Yea, me.

"I hate soccer."

"Soccer is boring."

"Whoever invented this game sucks."

"Can we do something else?"

"Fuck this game." (true story)

My responses? Me too. I agree. Probably does. I wish. Please don't swear, we're in school.

Kev, today was not a good day for your sport. Kids chose to walk in circles around the track for the remaining 50 minutes rather than play soccer. WALKING was better than soccer to these kids.

So my gym coverage, which I was actually looking forward to at the beginning of the day because I would get to go outside and play, turned into a nightmare. All because we were assigned to play soccer.

Soccer ruined my day, which is why it sucks as a sport. I'm sure you will say the contrary, as it ruining my day is what makes it awesome.

And for that, I end my story (well, more of a recounting) with a fuck you to Kevin.

Fuck you, Kevin.

~Mikey D

3 comments:

Kevin said...

Gym class soccer always sucks. (it did at Saline anyway) There were 4 or 5 people who had talent and liked playing, and then the other 25 who stand around like traffic cones, only moving when the ball comes toward them.

I was always one of the 4 or 5, but I can't blame the 25 for thinking it was boring or stupid. The key to being good at soccer is positioning and movement AWAY from the ball, and that part of the game is invisible to a first time player. (and something gym class coaches never teach unless they played competitvely...) The 25 only see the tiny fraction of the game when the ball comes to them. And the ball hardly ever comes to them because the good players are talented enough to dribble around the traffic cone defense and score.

So most of the time I can't blame kids for not liking gym class soccer. From the perspective of the 25 kids who have never played, soccer is standing around for 20 minutes to give the ball 1 kick that will probably go out of bounds.

That would bore the hell out of me too.

Kevin said...

But thank you for the story, I do enjoy your misery.

Thanks for brightening my day!

Adam said...

That was the best recounting of a story I have ever heard. I love "My responses? Me too. I agree. Probably does. I wish. Please don't swear, we're in school."