Mikey D

A new year, a new look. This first post of 2009 is just going to be me putting all of my thoughts down in words. It's been awhile since I've done this, and I think it'll be good for me to "get it all out", so to speak. As Grace can attest, I sometimes bottle things up inside to the point that I let the stress of my internal thinking overwhelm me, which makes me kind of, sorta, a lil' bit, unpleasant to be around. Just a tad.

New Years Resolutions
1. Get in shape. How original, yes? I'm 26 now, and I guess for the first time yesterday I didn't feel like a spring chicken. I went to workout with Grace in our complex's workout facility (the first time in two years, mind you) and I hopped up on the treadmill to do a little running. I used to be able to knock off two or three miles no problem, even if I hadn't ran in months. I ran one stinking mile yesterday and I was done. My side hurt. My ankle was throbbing. I felt like I was going to vomit. My workout was finished with one mile in the books. Awful, just awful. Needless to say I will be joining my lovely girlfriend in the gym many more times in the near future.
2. Make myself a plan for the future. Grace will laugh at this because I'm constantly thinking about the future- where I want to be, what I want to be doing, etc. This year I want to really set some goals for myself. For example, I don't want to just say, "I want to save some money". I want to set a goal- an actual dollar amount to reach- so that by the end of the year I can hopefully feel that sense of accomplishment. And not just money. I want to set plans with goals in all aspects- work, relationships, etc. I will most definitely have to put those down in words sometime as well.

Work
I really dislike my job, to be honest. It's not that I hate it, I can tolerate it, but it's not something I enjoy doing. It's a paycheck every two weeks, but at 26, that's not what I want my career to feel like. I know that change has to happen, but I'm unsure of exactly what that change entails. I do enjoy working with kids, so I'm not ready to give up on education just yet. Part of my problem I've recognized is the area I am currently working at. I work in a low-income area where students don't care to learn what I am teaching. Now I do all I can to make my math lessons engaging and exciting, but there's only so much you can do when teaching students about finding the absolute value of a number or adding mixed numbers together. Sometimes the desire I have for teaching students has to be equalled by the students desire to learn. And when it's not, it makes the job difficult and not very fun.

Now I will say that my laid-back personality and my ability to relate to students has served me very well in the school I'm at. I think the attitude I bring to school everyday is realistic, positive, and caring, which gives my classroom the best possible learning environment for my students. I am, however, not the type of person who is in the teaching business to foster great change. I am a believer in the "pursuit of happiness" and your own free will, and I believe it is the choices we make as individuals that ultimately guide where we go in life. If you want to make something of yourself, then do what you need to do, and 99% of the time that means get an education. I am a teacher of mathematics, not someone who is out to alter your life's path. If I say something or do something that does, it's purely inadvertent, trust me. If you give me credit for changing your life for the better, I will refuse such an honor, because the change that was brought about had less to do with me and more about the personal choices you made. I am a guide and I do not pretend to be anything otherwise. If you want to learn math, I am here help. If you want someone to listen to you, someone to talk to, someone to trust, again, I am here to help. But I am not going out of my way to change your life- that's on you.

Whether you agree with my attitude is irrelevant. Many of my coworkers do not, and that's fine. It's who I am though, and how I feel, and maybe someday my view will change. Today, however, is what matters, and today is where I'm at. So when I think about my job currently, I think about getting into a school district where students care to be in school. I'm not saying they all enjoy it, but they can appreciate the importance of an education and its affordances. I think a change of districts would suit my personality better and thus lead to a greater job satisfaction. Having students who care about what I do would be fantastic. So I think that's the next step- move schools and see how it goes.

I am, however, extremely happy for all the things that my job does afford me. I know everyone wants to point out all the time off us teachers have, and it is a nice perk, I'll be honest. But the thing that I enjoy the most is the job security. In this poor economy I am in absolutely no danger of losing my job (unless I molest a kid, of course). I have a salary that will increase every year, great benefits, and great opportunities for advancement. It's not the sexiest of jobs or careers, but it's stable and safe, which, since we've been talking about my personality, fits me just fine.

If the field of education does not work out for me I would definitely like to open my own business. The greatest job I've ever had was working at Beaner's, not because of the peanut salary, but because it was fun to go to work. I enjoyed working with others my age and I enjoyed being in charge. I think in the near future I will be spending my summers reading and researching how to open my own business (and what type of business I'd like to open, haha) and creating a solid business plan. This will probably be a process that will take many years and many summers, but it's something I want to look into.

Education
I finished off the most labor intensive four months of my life this past December. Taking nine graduate credits on top a full time teaching job was absolutely crazy and I am glad I will not be doing that again. The classes, however, were three of the best classes I've taken at State. The online format forced me work- something I'm pretty sure my lazy ass wouldn't have done if I had taken the classes normally. I did more reading than my five years at State combined and wrote paper after paper. It sucked and monopolized my time, but in the end I got more out of the courses than any others at State. I 4.0 all three, making all the hard work worthwhile (I'm hoping to carry a 4.0 average throughout my grad work).

I am taking six more credits this coming spring, and six more this summer. After that I should have my Masters degree. For those of you wondering, it will be a Masters of Arts in Education with a concentration is "Technology and Learning". I figured since I'm a 21st century teacher I should focus on the big component of 21st century teaching- technology. Most teaching related job postings are asking for secondary math teachers and technology teachers. Hopefully this graduate degree will make me twice as marketable and attractive for potential positions.

One of my other goals is to get my PhD by 30. I used to think I'd never want to do this because I wouldn't have a focus in education I'd be particularly interested in to research. Now, however, I am starting to develop one. I'm not going to bore you, because it is not that exciting, but I am interested in the connection that writing and mathematics has. We think of math as "doing problems" or dealing strictly with numbers, but as many know at the higher levels of mathematics there is a strong aspect of communication that is involved in mathematics (proofs, anyone?). At the elementary and secondary levels, however, there is not much communication, whether orally or in written form about mathematical ideas, despite the necessity of such as designated by many, including the National Council of Teachers in Mathematics. So if I do end up going for the PhD, I think I'd like to investigate and research this further. Like I said, not exciting for anyone outside of me, really. If I do go for my PhD I'd probably need to take a little time off from school (maybe half a year?). It's something I'd definitely need to be 100% sure about doing before jumping into it completely.

Money
I can't even begin to tell you how obsessed and stressed I get about money. As you know, I want a house more than anything. I picture my dream house multiple times a day, from me mowing the backyard (riding mower, not push...I had to do push when I was a kid, and no more I say!) to me sitting in my elaborate, awesome, and dare I say, legendary man-room in our basement watching the big game (I'm getting at least 3 recliners with cup holders so when Adam and Kevin come to visit we can watch the games in style and relaxation). Needless to say, my dream home will be quite expensive in the end.

Grace and I have started saving money the best we can. It's been very difficult, to say the least. We both have car payments, insurance, a high rent cost, student loans, etc. Living on the east coast is not cheap. It stresses me out daily because I am constantly looking at our savings and I know that it has to grow if we are going to move out of our lovely apartment and into a home. I say it has to grow because homes around here are ridiculously expensive. A home that might run for $150,000 in Michigan is $400,000+ down here. Our money just doesn't go as far. So even though I want a house asap, it might be more realistic to think about 3-5 years down the road when we've saved more and have furthered ourselves in our careers. Hopefully the housing market will still be poor then!

Despite all of our expenses, Grace and I do have some money in a high-interest (if you can even call it that with the interest rates these days...) savings account and some money put into a CD. We're making strides, and hopefully with a good tax return we can put a little more in.

Student loans, however, are our nightmare. Grace, because she is from Philadelphia, had to pay out of state tuition for her time at Michigan State. We both had no support from our parents tuition-wise, and now find ourselves in a spot that I know many other young people fresh out of college are finding themselves- in debt. After my Master's program, I will be about $60,000 in the whole. A staggering number, yes? Like I said, it's puts a damper on whatever savings we want to do. I do have to thank George W. for doing one nice thing for me- The Federal Student Loan Forgiveness Law. If I make payments on my loans for 10 years (minimum amount), all of my loans will be erased, as long as I am still a "public service" employee (for example, a teacher). Projecting, that's about half my debt gone. I am considering taking on Grace's loans as well, because if they are all under my name, I can get hers erased as well...but that's something we both will have to look into.

Relationship
Things are great with Grace. Three kitties and counting now live with us, haha. I am determined to make her the weird cat lady, if she's not already. I keep telling her that we are going to have fourteen cats. She says no and laughs, but this is no joking matter. We are having a cat kingdom, whether she likes it or not. And if she thinks about leaving me, I'm chaining her to the bedpost. (Sidenote: Kevin, do you remember discussing the hypothetical question, "If you could chain four women to your bed, who would they be?" Haha, that was awesome...)

After hearing about Adam and Stacey and their engagement, it makes proposing and marriage seem more real. Before it was just an idea, now it feels like something that could happen. I find myself noticing rings, thinking about proposal ideas, and imagining our wedding. I'm pretty sure I'm either gay or a woman...sorry, Grace.

The other day I was thinking back to all the girls I've dated and had relationships with, and none of them really hold a candle to Grace (I guess that's why we're going on two and a half years, haha). Some girls I was just infatuated with to the point I made them out to be so much more than they really were, and in the end I would be absolutely crushed when we broke up (thank you Adam and Kevin for always dealing with my pathetic self during those times). Others I just wasn't as into, but the idea of having somebody was better than having nobody. With Grace, I have found someone who lets me be exactly who I am- a sports loving, unhealthy eater, fantasy obsessed, um, nerd- and she loves me for it. And in turn I've found someone I can call fat for no reason other than to watch her get mad. Haha, I am terrible, but I do say that just to get her goat. The thing is I can say that to her and she won't get mad at me (for too long), and I love her for it. She allows me to be me, and that makes me happy.

Sometimes it amazes me that we've been together as long as we have. It feels like yesterday we just began dating. I still have that same excitement when I see her at the end of our days now as I did when I used to go over to her apartment in East Lansing. I look forward to it. I look forward to seeing her each and everyday, and I'm sad to leave her in the morning. The time has absolutely flown by, but I guess that's how it's supposed to be when you love someone. Time doesn't slow down, the good times just make it go a little faster.

So I will stop being mushy. Marriage? Someday. Maybe sooner than later. We'll see. As Adam told me, the feeling to get married sort of just hit him. And as I told him, I feel that is how it will be for me. As for now I am enjoying living with someone who I love, even though, as my good friend Bill likes to say, we are "living in sin" because we are unmarried and living together. Whateva whateva.

Family
I had such a good time with my family over the holiday break. All of my brothers and sisters are now at the adult age where we can all joke around and relate to one another more than ever before. It was really nice to see them all over the break, as well as my mom and dad, and do family things together. I miss that sort of stuff, and Christmas is really the only time it happens, sadly. Updating everyone in the fam:

Lesley: A senior at EL High, and will be attending Eastern Michigan this coming fall (not happy about that...)
Andy: A sophomore at EL High, and one hell of a bowler. We was two strikes away from a perfect game during his school's varsity tryouts. 286 he ended up with; amazing. He is already one of the top bowlers in the state. PBA anyone?
Colin: He works in Annapolis now for a company called Trace International, and his official job title is "Due Diligence Associate". We tease him because he doesn't even know what his job title means. What he does is take documents and translate them into French, or from French to English. Using that degree. Oh, and he got a nose job. Oye.
Mom: Completely remodeled her home, and it looks fantastic. I'm impressed. She still works for the home improvement company she has worked at the last five years.
Dad: Over the fall he had a pacemaker put in, and that was a scary time to say the least. But he seems to be doing fine since, and can resume full activity (exercising) at the end of January. He still works for Overhead Door out of Baltimore and is making the big bucks.

Update complete.

Wrapping it All Up
Before ending this first post of the new year, I feel I should mention both Adam and Kevin. I still miss you guys more than anything, and wish I could see you more than once or twice a year. Perhaps someday we will find the opportunity in all of our lives to live closer to one another. I just want you guys to know that I love you both and hope this turns out to be a fantastic year for the both of you.

Well, that's it I suppose. A whole post without sports?!?! As the Hurricane would say, wazzupwitdat?! I've got to add something...hmmm...oh, last night's Sugar Bowl, with Utah winning over Alabama, was not only yet another reason for a playoff in college football, but also the sweetest picture for those have been burned by the Nick Saban Douche-Express. Seeing that guy lose makes me happy.

I think I've successfully put my thoughts out in words in the longest post ever.

Bookshelves readjusted.

~Mikey D